


Indignity

by shinysparks



Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-01
Updated: 2009-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-26 01:04:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysparks/pseuds/shinysparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The King returns and Guy is toast, but Marian has a "brilliant" plan to help him escape...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indignity

He was going to be hanged. Or dismembered. Or tortured. Or tortured, hanged and _then_ dismembered. Guy wasn't really sure what exactly his fate was going to be, but he was certain of a few things: it was going to be painful, messy and would end with him being very, very dead.

Robin Hood's plan to warn King Richard had worked. The King had returned to England, and had done so without any warning whatsoever. And, to make matters worse, he was headed directly for Nottingham Castle. The Sheriff had already fled, but Guy had gotten word that he'd been caught by some of the King's guards on the road outside of Nettlestone. In fact, every road in and out of Nottingham was said to be crawling with those loyal to the King. For the lone Black Knight, there was no logical escape.

And that's when Marian had come up with her so-called "brilliant" plan. As he tugged at the tight corset that surrounded his midsection and stared down at the light pink skirt adorning his bottom half, he could think of many different ways to describe her plan. "Brilliant" wasn't one of them.

"Are you almost ready?" She called from the other side of screen.  
"As ready as I'll ever be." He grunted. Taking a deep breath, he plodded around the screen to allow Marian full view of her awful handiwork.

Marian smiled and then bit down on her lip. She began to turn red. Guy could tell she was fighting hard to keep herself from breaking down into a fit of laughter. Eventually, though, she lost the battle.

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!" Marian giggled, nearly falling over.

Guy rolled his eyes in disgust. He couldn't believe that she was enjoying his misery so much.  
"Somehow," he thought, "torture, hanging and dismemberment doesn't sound all that bad right about now..."

It had taken Marian a while, but eventually she'd found some women's clothing that would fit him. Unfortunately, such clothing included a frilly, light pink skirt and brown corset embroidered with pink flowers, worn over a white blouse that pulled down over the shoulders. With enough stuffing and manipulation of Guy's own chest, Marian had given him the appearance of small breasts. She had also modified some of her own stockings to fit his large, man feet. And, to top it all off, Marian had taken long strands of black horse hair and skillfully attached it to his own hair, tying it back and adding fancy ornaments to it.

"Obviously, I look as ridiculous as I feel." Guy grunted, crossing his arms.

Marian continued to giggle.

"What is it?" He sighed, quite annoyed.  
"You forgot to shave!" Marian told him, catching her breath briefly.   
Guy felt his face. It was full of stubble. He shook his head in disgust. Shaving meant he would actually have to look at himself in the mirror.

"Aside from the facial hair..." He groaned.  
"You'll pass, I think. You have to remember that most of the guards we may meet on the road have been at war for a very long time. It's likely that anyone remotely feminine-looking will be quite a welcome sight to them." Marian added.

"Welcome sight? Marian, you don't mean that..."  
"Don't worry, Guy. All you have to do is sit there quietly and let me handle it."  
"What do you plan to tell them?" He asked.  
"That you're my dear, spinster cousin from Locksley, and I'm escorting you to a convent to become a nun." Marian told him.  
"A nun?! Marian, it's been years since I've even looked at a Bible, much less opened one. If they ask me a question..." He said, fretting.  
"Then I'll just tell them you can't speak. Actually, that's probably a good idea anyway. Your voice is a little deep to pass for a woman's, after all."

Guy groaned.

"This is never going to work. We'll be caught and then they'll execute me - probably before I even get a chance to change clothes - and then everyone from now until eternity will laugh at my expense!" He whined.  
"Everything is going to be fine, Guy. I promise." Marian reassured him, touching his face gently with her hand. Guy smiled at her.

"So," he began, "On the off chance I happen to survive this indignity, will you consent to be my wife?"

Marian kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"Of course I will," she told him, smiling. "On one condition, however."  
"Which is?" He asked, staring at her quizzically.

Marian grinned at him, and began to giggle mischeviously.

"At the wedding, I get to wear the dress."

**Author's Note:**

> One of the most interesting things about the Gisborne of the Robin Hood legends was the way he was said to dress: completely in [horse-hide - top, tail and mane.](http://www.lib.rochester.edu/camelot/teams/guy.htm) Other than his clothing, his sword and his dagger, there really isn't a physical description of him. When Robin Hood takes his horse suit after killing him (and beheading him and mutilating his face - poor Gizzy,) the Sheriff doesn't even recognize that it's not Gisborne.
> 
> Anyway, that is what helped to inspire this fic. ;)


End file.
